My last post was really a depressing list of reason why I think I'm feeling rubbish. I reread today and thought to myself if I still felt the same, if I regret writing the words- was there any truth to them. I came to the conclusion that I start feeling this way a lot when I come home. Then it hit me. I'm going through a quarter life crisis.
That's right. A mid life crisis but at 20 something. Now some people may read this like "seriously? Your life hasn't even started what is there to worry about?". Now on some level I do agree but then there is a lot to be said about the fear of starting life.
'The 20 something crisis' is something that, I believe, hits us students when we are anticipating leaving the safety of our homes and comfy financed live's, actually going out into the real world. Starting 3rd Year is a massive deal. Its your last year of education and then you have to decide where you go from there. Along with the looming grey cloud that's rolling in you have to deal with the little things. And that's were life can get a bit much.
I was on the phone to a close friend last night and we were chatting about the division of your life when you go to university. You totally uproot yourself to a completely new place and make a life there, friends, home and education. But then you're coming home for holidays and moving all your things back for four months. Now the only things this place holds for you are your family and old friends. You have meet ups maybe twice a year, everyone catches up with each other, they 'miss each other'. You meet up with people you used to spent everyday with during college/sixth form or whatever. This sounding familiar? For me, I constantly find myself needing to find new conversation. You catch up and find out what everyone's up to but then were does it go from there?Gossip seems to be the done thing to do but then for that you actually need some. I sit there with people I've spent years of my childhood with and I'm just forcing a smile. I do, or though, have a handful of people that I know I can talk to and spent time with without that feeling.
It seems like old friendships are over, but that's totally natural. People enter your life and people leave it. That's totally fine because some people will hold on. But then the question hits me, how the hell do you avoid these situations if you don't want to be in them? That's the odd thing, I don't want to just blank people out of my life.
I feel like this really answers the whole 'fed up of people' thing I have going on. Its hard to feel happy and wanted when social situations get a little tiring. You just have to surround yourself with the people that do keep you sane and make you happy, all be it over a phone call.
justthatgirlvicky
Sunday 31 August 2014
Saturday 30 August 2014
Feeling a bit emotional...
So the last couple of weeks have been a bit testing? i think that may be the word.
I don't know why but suddenly I've started to feel a bit down, like I did before my amazing trip to Africa. There's no reason for it, every things going fine, life's okay. So why do I feel this way? I could probably list some symptoms or think of some causes but then where does that leave me. With a list of problems, some with no solution. Sometimes listing things is the best way to organise yourself. Just empty your mind, write all your concerns, worries and thoughts onto a page (or computer screen) and get it all out. In the open. Okay here goes:
I don't know why but suddenly I've started to feel a bit down, like I did before my amazing trip to Africa. There's no reason for it, every things going fine, life's okay. So why do I feel this way? I could probably list some symptoms or think of some causes but then where does that leave me. With a list of problems, some with no solution. Sometimes listing things is the best way to organise yourself. Just empty your mind, write all your concerns, worries and thoughts onto a page (or computer screen) and get it all out. In the open. Okay here goes:
- People. I feel like I'm fed up of people. I don't feel like I have anyone to 100% rely on. There seems to be issues with all of my friendships- majority I just blame myself and go into a state of self loathing. I feel like I need to let go of some people but then I get confused because I don't know who to hold on to. I know I have people in my life who I love and I want to keep in my life but then I don't know how. Voicing all of this to someone is hard, it doesn't make sense in my head so how can I make words about it?
- Lately with certain friends I've felt excluded from conversation: technology is your worst enemy when it comes to keeping friendships. And I'm struggling to hold on. Do I want to hold on?
- I've recently been running around because I've be offered a job but I don't know if i should take it. I'm scared of getting overwhelmed in my third year- this job is more complex than I originally thought. Now what to I do? Reject the job from being scared or say yes and solider through. I'm so torn.
- Relationships. Men. I'm really starting to think more about it, about certain people. Missing them. Its not healthy. It needs to stop.
- I feel like I have zero motivation to do anything. I've stopped challenging myself, I don't want to go out or see people its too much effort when I know I wont enjoy it anyway's. Friendships suffer.
Basically there's a lot going in my small mind and its pouring out over the sides. But I feel like I have no one to talk to. So the best thing I could think of what writing it here, were no on looks anyway's and I can ramble and not have to say sorry.
justthatgirlvicky
Sunday 27 July 2014
Life Update.
Hey Stranger,
I am so shocked and mad at myself for not blogging for....cough...cough... six months.... Ooops. Big oops. I suppose life gets in the way a lot and even with the best intentions we can all come off track sometimes (me more then some!). So much has happened. I finished my second year of university, moved home for summer, got my job back and best of all I went to Africa for two weeks and it was beautiful and amazing.
I revisited my blog tonight because I felt like I had a really productive day at work and now I'm feeling more motivated to get my life sorted out. I have been struggling with a lot of mixed emotions lately and I felt stressed about my dissertation (university project) as I'm currently collecting data for it. Lets just say Oh life is my favourite phrase at the moment.
But no more moaning! More planning. More lists. More action and MOTIVATION is what's gonna be going onnnn hereeee.
I feel procrastination is my biggest enemy. For example I was meant to log my data from the last four days but no I'm writing a blog post (Y). Perfect decision I feel! I'm not going to curl up in bed and probably fall asleep while trying to write a list of productive things that need sorting.
I'm going to try and write a blog post for Africa with amazing photos and also one about my research as well (you may not care but meh I do ha).
This was such a ramble but that's life!
justthatgirlvicky
x
I am so shocked and mad at myself for not blogging for....cough...cough... six months.... Ooops. Big oops. I suppose life gets in the way a lot and even with the best intentions we can all come off track sometimes (me more then some!). So much has happened. I finished my second year of university, moved home for summer, got my job back and best of all I went to Africa for two weeks and it was beautiful and amazing.
I revisited my blog tonight because I felt like I had a really productive day at work and now I'm feeling more motivated to get my life sorted out. I have been struggling with a lot of mixed emotions lately and I felt stressed about my dissertation (university project) as I'm currently collecting data for it. Lets just say Oh life is my favourite phrase at the moment.
But no more moaning! More planning. More lists. More action and MOTIVATION is what's gonna be going onnnn hereeee.
I feel procrastination is my biggest enemy. For example I was meant to log my data from the last four days but no I'm writing a blog post (Y). Perfect decision I feel! I'm not going to curl up in bed and probably fall asleep while trying to write a list of productive things that need sorting.
I'm going to try and write a blog post for Africa with amazing photos and also one about my research as well (you may not care but meh I do ha).
This was such a ramble but that's life!
justthatgirlvicky
x
Tuesday 28 January 2014
Why salad won't make you sexy.
So one of my resolutions this year is to 'Get Fit'. At first to me that mean't cutting down on all the goodie foods in life such as cookies and crisps (yummmy) and replacing it will endless meals of veggies and salad. Cutting out all the fatty and carby foods.But since I started this journey I've learnt a lot about fitness and body control and what I should really be doing to get to my goal. So I thought, to keep me in check, I would write a blog post to remind me of all those things that I should be doing actively to reach my goal and also to help anyone else who needs it.
3. Chocolate wont make you skinny, but you don't have to part ways. Now this is something that shall put a smile back on your pretty face. I'm not going to tell you to give up chocolate. What would life be like if you denied someone the human right to consume such sweet beautiful foods?! What I am going to tell you is you don't need to eat all of the chocolate bar (you know those big arse ones) or the entire packet of cookies or the whole cake. You my friend can have some but do it in moderation. By this I mean try not to eat loads of unhealthy food in the one day. You want a slice of cake? You can have it but don't order a takeaway later. You want a biscuit? Great! Just make sure you take a couple and put the packet back in the cupboard, DON'T consume the whole thing. Balance is your best friend, and to keep balance you need to indulge, plus life would suck without chocolate. There is no point in sacrifice when you can reach your goal without it.
4. Just eating salad all day wont make you sexy. When I say this I mean that just eating greens isn't good for your body. In my opinion to be sexy is to not just be skinny, or lean, or curvy but to also be toned and to be toned we need muscles in our life's and for muscles we need protein. Protein is easier to come by then you think, its in loads of foods such as lean meats such as chicken or turkey. Fish is also a really good source and so are eggs. Protein is really important for maintaining a good diet. Red meat is less friendly when it come to losing weight but it's always good for you to have some: just not the whole cow! A healthy meal is, ideally, made up of a plate with 1/2 greens/veggies/fruits, 1/4 grains such as rice and 1/4 protein. Making the change to having maybe two meals like this a week will make a real difference!
5. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, and really should be the biggest. If you give it thought, breakfast for most people is around 7/8 and (unless you snack) has to keep you going till lunch at 12/1. That's a long time and one piece of toast is not going to cut it! If you have a busy day ahead (especially on work out days) then a big hearty breakfast is going to help you get through it. Protein is important in pre-work out meals so having something like eggs in the morning is really good for you. Maybe with a nice green salad? Greek yoghurt with fruit and nuts and always good and filling, keeping energy levels up. You can even have some breakfast biscuits and some fruit which is refreshing and keeps you going! But stay clear of sugary cereals, they will give you energy for a while but you'll soon be on a downer.
6. Water is your secret weapon. This is such a boring and repetitive piece of advice but it really is SO true that water is super good for you. It flushes out all the harsh and nasty things in our systems for a natural cleanse. It is also the best tool to aid your stomach. Our brains take 20 minutes to notify us that our stomach is full. Drinking a glass of water before you eat your main meal will allow your stomach to tell you its fuller earlier enabling you to stop yourself from over eating. Eating slower can also help but if your like me meals are gone in a flash so best get drinking that water!
7. Know what you're eating. Always read the labels when you buy food. You can be shocked by the contents of the most 'healthy' sounding foods. There is one big simple rule, buy as little packaged food as you can! The more organic the better. Never buy microwave meals from the supermarket when you can take 30mins out to cook a perfectly healthy meal from natural ingredients and freeze it for consumption later.
8. One bad meal won't make you fat, just like one good meal won't make you skinny. A McDonald's for tea is not the end of world. There is no reason to give up. There is always tomorrow and there is always another chance. We are not quitters.
9. Get moving. Your not going to reach your goal just by controlling your diet. I'm not telling you to go running on the treadmill for an hour or give me 100 push-ups (unless that's what your used to). With exercise you have to be careful not to exert yourself by over doing it. If your not very active its good to start simple. Going for a walk during the day, taking the stairs instead of the lift, or even cycling to work? When your ready you can build yourself up to things like a casual jog, little cardio and toning workouts. You don't need to go to the gym or pay a fancy membership! Everything these day can be found on the internet. Watch a workout video on YouTube and adapt it to what you can handle (but remember you have to work hard and you should really be feeling the burnnn for it to have an affect!!). Joining a fitness class is always a brilliant idea! Just an hour or two on a weekday maybe doing aerobics or zumba (there are SO many different classes, there is always one that will suit you!). Working out in a group is a good way to build confidence in you and a teacher can help you with advice and tips.
10. All you need is just a little patience. It's going to take time for you to notice the difference in your body and others even longer but don't let this dishearten you. Taking photos of yourself at the start and during your goal are good things to keep you motivated! I like (hate really) to look at photos of me from the last two years to remind myself why I'm doing it. It soon puts you in check!
1. I'm going to burst your bubble here, there is no quick fix to weight loss or fitness. Both have to be maintained regularly for results. You see all those people starving themselves for 2 weeks on a soup diet in the hopes they will lost a stone? Well they sure will lose a stone. But the second they put a Domino's pizza to their lips on a Tuesday night or start eating their old diet, their body will radically put the weight back on. I don't mean its only going to take one pizza, but its the start of them losing control and soon enough they will be back where they started... which is sad really.
2. Muscle weighs more then fat. This is true. But muscle is our friend! Now I know no one wants to be one of those body builders with hunking muscles, in a bikini and an extremely questionable natural tan (google female body builders, scary stuff) but I don't mean go crazy on the weights. Muscle is actually your bestfriend when It comes to weight loss. Muscle itself burns 4-6 calories all on its own. The more muscle you have, the more FAT you will burrrrrrrrn. Plus all those dream stomachs you've seen on Pinterest or Instagram did not earn their status from just dieting. There is extreme toning done there my friend and that's why regular toning is important in fitness and weight loss.
3. Chocolate wont make you skinny, but you don't have to part ways. Now this is something that shall put a smile back on your pretty face. I'm not going to tell you to give up chocolate. What would life be like if you denied someone the human right to consume such sweet beautiful foods?! What I am going to tell you is you don't need to eat all of the chocolate bar (you know those big arse ones) or the entire packet of cookies or the whole cake. You my friend can have some but do it in moderation. By this I mean try not to eat loads of unhealthy food in the one day. You want a slice of cake? You can have it but don't order a takeaway later. You want a biscuit? Great! Just make sure you take a couple and put the packet back in the cupboard, DON'T consume the whole thing. Balance is your best friend, and to keep balance you need to indulge, plus life would suck without chocolate. There is no point in sacrifice when you can reach your goal without it.
4. Just eating salad all day wont make you sexy. When I say this I mean that just eating greens isn't good for your body. In my opinion to be sexy is to not just be skinny, or lean, or curvy but to also be toned and to be toned we need muscles in our life's and for muscles we need protein. Protein is easier to come by then you think, its in loads of foods such as lean meats such as chicken or turkey. Fish is also a really good source and so are eggs. Protein is really important for maintaining a good diet. Red meat is less friendly when it come to losing weight but it's always good for you to have some: just not the whole cow! A healthy meal is, ideally, made up of a plate with 1/2 greens/veggies/fruits, 1/4 grains such as rice and 1/4 protein. Making the change to having maybe two meals like this a week will make a real difference!
5. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, and really should be the biggest. If you give it thought, breakfast for most people is around 7/8 and (unless you snack) has to keep you going till lunch at 12/1. That's a long time and one piece of toast is not going to cut it! If you have a busy day ahead (especially on work out days) then a big hearty breakfast is going to help you get through it. Protein is important in pre-work out meals so having something like eggs in the morning is really good for you. Maybe with a nice green salad? Greek yoghurt with fruit and nuts and always good and filling, keeping energy levels up. You can even have some breakfast biscuits and some fruit which is refreshing and keeps you going! But stay clear of sugary cereals, they will give you energy for a while but you'll soon be on a downer.
6. Water is your secret weapon. This is such a boring and repetitive piece of advice but it really is SO true that water is super good for you. It flushes out all the harsh and nasty things in our systems for a natural cleanse. It is also the best tool to aid your stomach. Our brains take 20 minutes to notify us that our stomach is full. Drinking a glass of water before you eat your main meal will allow your stomach to tell you its fuller earlier enabling you to stop yourself from over eating. Eating slower can also help but if your like me meals are gone in a flash so best get drinking that water!
7. Know what you're eating. Always read the labels when you buy food. You can be shocked by the contents of the most 'healthy' sounding foods. There is one big simple rule, buy as little packaged food as you can! The more organic the better. Never buy microwave meals from the supermarket when you can take 30mins out to cook a perfectly healthy meal from natural ingredients and freeze it for consumption later.
8. One bad meal won't make you fat, just like one good meal won't make you skinny. A McDonald's for tea is not the end of world. There is no reason to give up. There is always tomorrow and there is always another chance. We are not quitters.
9. Get moving. Your not going to reach your goal just by controlling your diet. I'm not telling you to go running on the treadmill for an hour or give me 100 push-ups (unless that's what your used to). With exercise you have to be careful not to exert yourself by over doing it. If your not very active its good to start simple. Going for a walk during the day, taking the stairs instead of the lift, or even cycling to work? When your ready you can build yourself up to things like a casual jog, little cardio and toning workouts. You don't need to go to the gym or pay a fancy membership! Everything these day can be found on the internet. Watch a workout video on YouTube and adapt it to what you can handle (but remember you have to work hard and you should really be feeling the burnnn for it to have an affect!!). Joining a fitness class is always a brilliant idea! Just an hour or two on a weekday maybe doing aerobics or zumba (there are SO many different classes, there is always one that will suit you!). Working out in a group is a good way to build confidence in you and a teacher can help you with advice and tips.
10. All you need is just a little patience. It's going to take time for you to notice the difference in your body and others even longer but don't let this dishearten you. Taking photos of yourself at the start and during your goal are good things to keep you motivated! I like (hate really) to look at photos of me from the last two years to remind myself why I'm doing it. It soon puts you in check!
Well I hope you enjoyed this blog post! If you apply any of these things to your lifestyle then I promise you will see results! I hope to be able to share my results with you over the coming months! What about you, any tips of your own? Chat soon.
justthatgirlvicky
x
Resolution One: Complete.
So before January was even in full swing I had completed one of my resolutions for 2014! One which I thought would take a while, but after going round my friends one afternoon we decided it was just perfect timing. I think it was one of the most spontaneous things I've ever done in my entire life! (pure crazy for me)
I got my first tattoo! It was totally crazy. At the time I was so up for getting it done because I had actually contemplated this for a good 3 years and I was always certain that I would eventually get it. Me and my best friend got them together, and I went first.
 |
| My First Tattoo. |
Now everyone always asks the same thing: "Did it hurt?!". Well I can proudly say YES it hurt like a bitch. The guy doing it did turn to me and say "That's going to nip a bit love" but I was just like yeah okay lets do this. I went first and literally just stared at my best friend while squishing her hand and trying to make conversation, I couldn't look! It would have made the pain so much worse! I did take pleasure from watching her get hers done! (There was a lot of swearing, hehe)
The bravest thing I had to do that day was not actually the tattoo, but going home and telling my parents about it. They just thought I was going to visit a friend for the afternoon, they did not expect their daughter to come home with a bandage round her wrist and nappy cream in her bag. I just went straight into it. Told them exactly what I had done. After a few grumbles and annoyed expressions they soon came round. In all fairness I am 19 and living away from home months at a time, I am a mature adult (its what I tell them but they don't need to know otherwise!).
Now the other thing my parents were confused about was why I got a peace sign. I hate to be one of those people but I actually did just really like peace signs when I was younger. Part of me will always want to be a hippy and a wild child but sometimes (unfortunately) we do have to be realistic. After thinking about it more, since getting my tattoo, it came to me that the real reason why I like this sign is because I do want peace, but in my own life. I want to be happy and content and for me this tattoo will always be a constant reminder of that, keeping me on track. My best friend also got the same symbol, it is something we can look at to remind ourselves of each other and how important that person is in our lives. Without her I know I would never have gotten through a lot of things in my life. She's my rock and gives me peace.
One resolution done! Only a few more to go, but those are long term, so I hope you continue with me on my journey.
justthatgirlvicky
x
Monday 13 January 2014
GoT Returns.
So early this morning, at approximately 2 am (GMT Time) the internet literally exploded. Why you ask? The trailer for the fourth season of Game of Thrones graced our computer screens! Oh we had been teased for so long (it felt like it anyway) with a short six second footage teaser then multiple tease vines and finally a teaser trailer for the release of the awaited trailer! So much foreplay, too much some might say. But when I eagerly watched the trailer today my mind was blown.
Now firstly a lot of people don't understand the hype of the awaited trailer for GoT, even people that have watched the series have turned to me like "Big deal, nothing much happened in the trailer", but these people are most likely non-readers or as I (among many) like to call them 'the unsullied'. Because if you read GoT you would understand the pure excitement that radiates when you see something you've read so many times come to life before your eyes! It's magical.
I'm literally so excited and can't believe I have to wait till 7th April (UK)... its criminal. So I'm going to devote some time to this series but looking back and writing a blog post on the cliff hangers and what we may expect (no spoilers, promises :3 )
Now firstly a lot of people don't understand the hype of the awaited trailer for GoT, even people that have watched the series have turned to me like "Big deal, nothing much happened in the trailer", but these people are most likely non-readers or as I (among many) like to call them 'the unsullied'. Because if you read GoT you would understand the pure excitement that radiates when you see something you've read so many times come to life before your eyes! It's magical.
I'm literally so excited and can't believe I have to wait till 7th April (UK)... its criminal. So I'm going to devote some time to this series but looking back and writing a blog post on the cliff hangers and what we may expect (no spoilers, promises :3 )
justthatgirlvicky
x
Friday 10 January 2014
2014.
Woah; so apparently a whole year has gone by and I didn't even notice.
Actually, that's kind of a lie. So much happened this year that it feels like it went on forever. I started last year In a long term relationship which consequently ended, got back up only to be broken hearted again, I've lost family members and struggled through countless dramas it is unbelievable. But for once I'm looking at this year with a new outlook. I'm actually looking forward to it. Starting a clean slate. Taking everything I have learnt and just moving on.
Now for some reason the last couple of years everyone's been moaning about the "New Year, New Me" and okay YES it comes round every new years and YES no one ever really sticks to it but for once I actually want to. I want to change myself, not for anyone but just for me. I want to be a happier and healthier person who's more travelled and better read. I need to do these things, not for the people around me but for myself. So I made a list of things I want to do.
1. My First Tattoo.
This is such a generic thing but I spend so much of my time drooling over them, again on pinterest, and imagining my own. I want to get a quote which means a lot to me on my side to just remind me of myself. Simple but I love it.
2. Get Fit.
This is such a broad thing. Basically I want to show everyone that when I put my mind to it I can achieve and for me my biggest problem I need to put my mind to is my body. I want to do it for myself and my confidence but lets not kid, I want to do it for the "Shit, she got hot" moment that I can give to all the bullies, haters and ex's out there. Not just for the body but for the health and fitness as well.
3. Read The Fellowship of The Ring.
So you won't know this yet but I'm a major nerd and I love all things fantasy. I have never actually read the Lord of the Rings books so I want to at least complete the first one this year.
4. Work Harder at University.
I really want to change my work ethic and really knuckle down with my studies because I'm half way through and I still get distracted so easily! This needs to change and this year is the best time to do it!
5. Be Happy.
There are always so many things going on, drama, heart breaks. This year I just want to try my best to be in a happy state. Like I have been happy this year, but not be a long period of time. That's my overall goal this year and if I achieve it well...I will be happy :)
Actually, that's kind of a lie. So much happened this year that it feels like it went on forever. I started last year In a long term relationship which consequently ended, got back up only to be broken hearted again, I've lost family members and struggled through countless dramas it is unbelievable. But for once I'm looking at this year with a new outlook. I'm actually looking forward to it. Starting a clean slate. Taking everything I have learnt and just moving on.
 |
| Courtesy of Pinterest. |
1. My First Tattoo.
This is such a generic thing but I spend so much of my time drooling over them, again on pinterest, and imagining my own. I want to get a quote which means a lot to me on my side to just remind me of myself. Simple but I love it.
2. Get Fit.
This is such a broad thing. Basically I want to show everyone that when I put my mind to it I can achieve and for me my biggest problem I need to put my mind to is my body. I want to do it for myself and my confidence but lets not kid, I want to do it for the "Shit, she got hot" moment that I can give to all the bullies, haters and ex's out there. Not just for the body but for the health and fitness as well.
3. Read The Fellowship of The Ring.
So you won't know this yet but I'm a major nerd and I love all things fantasy. I have never actually read the Lord of the Rings books so I want to at least complete the first one this year.
4. Work Harder at University.
I really want to change my work ethic and really knuckle down with my studies because I'm half way through and I still get distracted so easily! This needs to change and this year is the best time to do it!
5. Be Happy.
There are always so many things going on, drama, heart breaks. This year I just want to try my best to be in a happy state. Like I have been happy this year, but not be a long period of time. That's my overall goal this year and if I achieve it well...I will be happy :)
Well those are my resolutions! I really hope it stick to them this year!
justthatgirlvicky
x
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